Sometimes people think I'm not listening to them, because I act distracted, but I hear them, and I remember a lot more of what people say than they might think...
I remember what a family friend said one night when we sat around his kitchen table. He said things would "get worse before they get better." That was just a couple of months before his wife unexpectedly died of cancer no one knew she had. After the funeral, the family friend fled to New York. And here, in the sunshine state, things did get worse. They got much worse, every year. That was ten years ago, and still things are getting worse. I want to know: when are things going to get better? Do I have to flee before they get better?
It's only June, and I'm already sick of it. The heat, the sweat, the humidity, the electric bill. I like my porch garden--the Chinese peppers, the jalapenos, the lavender, rosemary and Aloe Vera. But I'm sick of looking at the horizon and seeing...traffic, and strip malls, billboards, and a pale, washed out sky. Where's the mountain? Where the #*!! are the greenspaces? Where's the seasons? There are two here: hot and warm.
Call me crazy, if you must. I like shoveling snow. I like jumping in piles of dead leaves. I like the sound of rain drumming on the roof that doesn't unleash a sauna after the storm. Today's headline in this tropical paradise: "Rents Are on the Rise." (like we haven't noticed) No word yet on when pay's going up. Florida doesn't want renters any more, and I don't need or want to buy a house, so I want to move. I'm outa here. The only question is: where to?
I wanna have a snowball fight. Want to find another way to live. Want to wear a big bulky jacket with a hood for six months straight. Want to leave my gas guzzler behind and jump on public transit. Or walk; yeah--walk to the store---imagine that!
I want to do God's work. That doesn't have anything thing to do with working in a church, or a religious denomination, by the way. Read my blogs and you'll understand what I mean by doing God's work, right away---or you never will.
If you're reading this, and you feel me, and you got some real advice, I want to hear from you. Because I'm not just melting here, like a snowman in the sun. I'm drowning, and I'm reaching for a lifeboat.