There is no safe place when you're poor. I used to think this was only in America, where spending on social programs has been demolished by design, but the blog of Wandering Scribe has made me understand this "trend" is worldwide. A world wide genocide against the poor (apologies to Pearl Jam for the World Wide Suicide rip off).
The pain in my head is most likely caused by a long ago car accident in which I was hit from behind, and that resulted in almost immediate head and neck pain. I know from experience that a chiropractor can make the pain disappear, sometimes for weeks at a time. But I have no health insurance, and no money to pay the medical bills. I canceled my health insurance, because I couldn't afford to pay the premiums, but it doesn't matter because when I was working, the employer provided insurance "coverage" didn't pay for chiropractic treatment either. Or acupuncture. And since throwing boxes all night aggravated the injuries, continuous pain was guaranteed. Today's headache came with a bonus: numb feet and nausea. I don't know if they're connected. I just know I was too sick to do anything, including write in this blog. I thought for awhile about maybe having to go to the emergency room, and I thought about the huge bills I'd never be able to pay, so I concluded death would be preferable. Having no health "benefits" doesn't make me feel less safe. It makes no difference at all.
I remembered a news story I read about a "free clinic" run by Muslim doctors, but I didn't save the article. I called a family member who works in the health care field and asked her to try to find out where this clinic is. I might need it someday. Still, I have my doubts.
There's very little that's "free" these days. Everything comes with conditions, with a price. Only your mother's love is free and unconditional. And those very rare--and very few, friends. When you become too sick to function even on a basic level, and know there's no help available to you without money, that's terror. Health care terrorism.
When you try for nine months to find a job, and you are homeless and have one more unemployment check and the job you're offered pays about $250 after taxes--working full time--that's terror: economic terrorism. After nine months of unemployment, and 16 months of homelessness, I finally found an apartment I could afford. It was a studio, very small, but OK. The rent was cheap, and so was my paycheck, but I made it for a year. Then a new landlord bought the building, and all the tenants fled. In terror. Housing terrorism.
New tenants moved in--with bigger incomes or rich parents. I wanted to flee too, but could find no apartment where my 11 year-old dog could live too, so I stayed, and paid the $200 a month rent increase, until all my savings ran out, and my in-laws said then: we'll take the dog in. So my dog moved, and soon after I found another apartment. And meanwhile, my dog died, and I wasn't even with him at the end. When you're poor, even your dog gets terrorized. Pet terrorism.
When you're poor, you get moved around a lot, because the rents are always rising, and the apartments are always going condo, and poor people can't buy their apartments. In Florida, even middle class people can't buy their apartments, never mind a house. So where is this state going to house all the low wage workers they so desperately need to keep the service economy running? Maybe they'll build company dormitories, like they do in China. But unlike China, they'll charge us rent for our bunk beds.
When you move a lot, it's hard to put down roots, be part of a community. It's especially hard in Florida. Everything can take root and grow here; everything except humans.
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