Welcome to Bizarro

As a kid, I spent many idyllic summer days hanging out in my uncle's barber shop, reading the comics he kept there for the enjoyment of his customers. Superman comics were among my favorites. You remember Superman--fighting always for truth, justice, and the American way. Then there was Superman's imperfect clone: "Bizarro superman."

I found this Bizarro background at http://www.toonpedia.com/bizarro
"The Bizarro World was a formerly uninhabited planet, artificially re-formed into a cube — naturally, since a round planet would violate the Bizarro Code ("… Is big crime to make anything perfect on Bizarro World"). Before long, it was populated with Bizarros of all of Superman's friends, as well as every single member of The Justice League of America, and a fair number of bad guys, as well as endless repetitions of Bizarro-Superman and Bizarro-Lois. All (except Bizarro-Krypto and Bizarro-Titano the Super Ape) spouted grammatical solecisms even a child could see were wrong, and behaved in every anti-logical way their writers, assisted by write-in suggestions from fans, could think of. The level of humor is indicated by the name they gave their planet, Htrea. "Earth" spelled backward — get it? "

It sometimes seems like we're living in a Bizarro World of our own, here on Earth, USA. For example:

Did you know the Social Security Administration will not mail you your annual earnings statement if you have applied for social security disability, even if you are still waiting for an answer. And why is that? (Me not know)

Did you know you CAN'T rent a PO Box unless you have a permanent mailing/home address?

In a conversation with a friend that became more Bizarro every second I learned this: A person who works for a WalMart distribution center was recently notified that family health coverage premiums will increase to $200 per paycheck. This WalMart worker's spouse, who works elsewhere, has coverage that credits employees $100 for not adding on family members. OK, that'll cover the WalMart premium increase, right? Not so fast. Walmart penalizes workers $150 if their spouse has health coverage and they opt out of using it.

No name, no state here. Word is that talking about this will get a WalMart worker fired faster than you can say: "How may I help you?"

Speaking of getting fired, the source also says that even mentioning the U word will get employees canned, sacked, fired, shown to the door. That's "union," in case you didn't guess. In another bizarro twist, the source goes on to mention a $2,000 per month pension courtesy of past employment in a (one of the country's most powerful labor unions) job. Why doesn't the poor WalMart employee try to get one of those union jobs, it is suggested. Are you kidding? You don't just apply for those jobs, sez the union retiree. You gotta know somebody. Both my parents knew somebody high up in the union, the former union worker explains. (Oh, my mistake.)

You want names? Forget about it. I'll never tell. Journalistic privilege.

More bizarro stuff:

Members of Congress--who we vote for to represent our interests, and who get paid with public money-- vote themselves generous pay raises every year, while they've raised the minimum wage for America's peasants to a whopping $7.15 an hour after ten years of no raises for American workers. (Let them eat Ramen Noodles!) These representatives of the people also enjoy FREE health care, while 47 million Americans get NO health are, and many more get inadequate care. What was the American Revolution about? Taxation without representation.

Lastly, support your local Buddhist monks/Burma freedom fighters because: An injury to one IS an injury to all.

Stay tuned for more Bizarro World updates.

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